Monday, April 06, 2009
Confidence
Where does confidence come from? Does it stem from courage? Does it
stem from encouragement from trustworthy people? Does it stem from
ignorance?
I
don't know. I do know, however, that I have serious confidence issues.
I wonder, sometimes, if confidence is actually a moment. A moment of a
brief out of body experience. A place where you are somewhat carefree
about your surroundings.
I've noticed that it seems like
confidence is specific to a goal. It tends to forgive or ignore its
surroundings and moves forward regardless of outside reactions. This
can be good, but it can also lead to unwarranted attention. Unwanted
attention.
The details behind this writing shall forever remain
a hidden aspect, save for my own damning memories. Suffice to say that
a lesson for myself lies within. A lesson that I must commit to learn
from. And I must commit quickly.
My confidence leads to utter
disclosure which moves somewhere just past the fine line between
conversational and blathering. It leads to poor decisions. It leads to
false hopes.
I'm not depressed by any means. I am, however,
quite contemplative and hope to alter my emotional course in a
direction that is not as satisfying for myself, but, rather, much more
tolerable for those that love me.
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