After we'd returned from taking a long walk around Loose Park this week, she said something that just struck me.
She said, "I feel like all you do is worry about me." I retorted, "It's the vast majority of what I do." She isn't wrong. I find myself always worried about her well-being. I tell myself that the benefit is that I drop whatever I'm doing if I hear an abnormal thump in the house, and I rush to her. However, the worry is what keeps me tired all the time. There is one thing in particular that worries me the most. I'm male and diabetic. That already shortens my life expectancy. She's also much younger than I. There is a very high probability that I will pass before she does. I'm worried because there is so much I do to take care of her that is not intuitive, and would be a learned skill over time. Who will pick up this banner when I fall? I don't know. It's the thought that she may end up having to teach someone how to take care of her that sometimes keeps me up at night.
2 Comments
Steve
5/31/2020 21:45:37
"I feel like all you do is worry about me."
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Lynette Kotake
7/7/2020 14:58:52
Kerry, I used to worry all the time and that didn't help me at all. Someone told me that what would be more helpful would be to to offer my worries to god in prayer. He said to pray to god and then leave it in his hands. That way you do not have to worry anymore. If you truly can learn to trust in god, you will believe that whatever happens will happen for the best. This advice really helped me. You are a wonderful caregiver and you and Mary are so precious. God be with you and we are sending you all our love and prayers.
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AuthorMy name is Kerry. I am the primary caretaker for my wife Mary, a brain cancer survivor. Archives
July 2022
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